


Blue Wings

by Melusine11



Series: Melusine attempts to fix it [4]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: After the Rain Comes the Rainbow, Best Dad Chewie, Butterflies, Canon Compliant, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Found Family, Grief/Mourning, Happy Ending, No Pregnancy, Resurrection via butterfly, Rey Needs A Hug, Rey is Depressed, That's Not How The Force Works, but who can really say
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-06
Updated: 2020-04-06
Packaged: 2021-03-01 20:40:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,608
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23503252
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Melusine11/pseuds/Melusine11
Summary: Ben wasn’t the other half of Chewie’s soul, but he was family, and all of the losses cut deep for the Wookiee. Rey reaches for him, holds on tight to his large fuzzy paw for as long as he will allow.“I loved him too,”he tells her as she rests against him.“I know,” Rey says, nodding into his fur.
Relationships: Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Series: Melusine attempts to fix it [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1708846
Comments: 52
Kudos: 137
Collections: TROS Reylo Fix-it Fics





	Blue Wings

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so this was inspired by the Roll Out episodes. I couldn't get it out of my head after the third one and all of the talk on twitter surrounding it. So here we are.
> 
> Thank you to QueenOfCarrotFlowers for looking this over!
> 
>   
> 

Rey sits curled up in the co-pilot’s chair, Ben’s sweater pulled down over her knees, arms wrapped around them as she watches Chewie work. His massive body moves with familiarity of the ship and Rey smiles a sad sleepy smile at him.

“ _Sleep if you want,_ ” he tells her, catching sight of her. “ _Just do it in the bunk, not here. It’s a few days journey, but I promise you’ll like it._ ”

For a long moment they stare at one another before Rey finally sighs. “Okay,” she relents, standing up, the sweater falling down around her thighs. “But promise to wake me if you need me,” she insists.

“ _Sure_.” Chewie isn’t looking at her anymore and Rey lingers in the door, just able to make out the reflection of the two of them in the viewport. The Wookiee is focused, clearly ignoring her, and she - she is a mess. Even in the reflection she can make out the bruise-like circles beneath her eyes.

With a quiet sigh she turns and trudges through the ship to throw herself onto the wide bunk in the captain’s quarters. She bunches up the long sleeves of the shirt in her hands and pushes them against her face, inhaling deeply. It doesn’t smell like him anymore, and that hurts almost as much as the fact that he’s gone. Kicking around the blankets, she finally manages to get them high enough to grab and pull over her, covering her head, so she can roll towards the wall and cry in peace. Not that Chewie would bother her anyway, but it makes her feel safe.

Rey cries quietly until she has nothing left to give, but the sadness lingers, a gaping, oozing wound that only feels like it’s getting worse. For a while she tried to put on a brave face, to not break down into tears, but she was still useless. Fingers numb and fumbling easy tasks, a weapon that feels like dead weight in her hands instead of the extension of herself it had felt like since the first moment she touched it.

She wants to hate him, for leaving her here alone, but she burrows into the collar of his old shirt and knows she never could and never will. 

Sleep is slow to come and it’s restless, like always, and she wakes up gasping for breath, coated in a light sheen of sweat. Her tongue darts out and licks at her dry chapped lips as she counts slowly, inhaling and exhaling as she does in an attempt to calm her racing heart.

It’s not the dreams really, it’s the coming out of them that makes her want to scream. In her dreams Ben is there and whole and beautiful, and sometimes he’s aware of her, reaches for her to join him wherever he is; other times her presence goes unnoticed, so she just drinks him in with her eyes, sits near him and soaks up being near him. They all end the same though. Over and over and over again she has to watch him disappear into nothing like he did on Exegol.

Rey lingers in the bunk until Chewie comes in and makes her come out, sits her down and watches her eat. It’s a long process as she insists she isn’t hungry, and the food is dry in her mouth. She breaks everything into small pieces and nibbles at them until finally they’re gone. Satisfied, Chewie lets her go and she shuffles back to bed.

Later Chewie returns, forcing her to drink something, and then he sits with her for a bit in silence. He doesn’t ask questions, not anymore, just holds her hand and lets her mourn. 

He was the only one who knew, could understand her pain. Ben wasn’t the other half of Chewie’s soul, but he was family, and all of the losses cut deep for the Wookiee. Rey reaches for him, holds on tight to his large fuzzy paw for as long as he will allow.

“ _I loved him too,”_ he tells her as she rests against him. 

“I know,” Rey says, nodding into his fur.

“ _He was happy when I knew him. Serious too.”_ He chuffs out a little laugh and Rey stares straight ahead of them. “ _Always finding a way to get into trouble, he was like his dad that way. Wanted to be a pilot, just like Han, but—”_ Chewie falls silent with a shrug and his hold on Rey tightens.

The days of travel blur together and she ignores all of the pings that come through her comms. She hears Chewie in the cockpit sometimes, responding to his own; Rey recognizes the voices of her friends. There are a lot of reassurances from Chewie that she’s fine, that she just needs some time.

There’s not enough time, it feels like, to ever recover.

“ _We’re here_ ,” Chewie announces from the doorway of the cabin. It’s unnecessary, she thinks, having felt the subtle jolt of entering a planet’s atmosphere and the eventual landing, not to mention she had sat, curled up in silence and listened to the steady hum of the ship fall into silence. “ _Come on, Rey, the sun hasn’t set yet.”_

Rey stands and pulls on her boots, following Chewie out of the ship. “ _This way,”_ he says, motioning for her to follow him. She does, and pulls up short at the bottom of the ramp.

“Stars,” she gasps, “where are we?” She asks, glancing up at Chewbacca who is smiling just a little, and body looking more relaxed that she’s ever seen it.

“ _Home,”_ he tells her, loping off ahead of her towards the trunk of the largest tree she’s ever seen. “ _Kashyyyk.”_

Rey shuffles after him, head tilting back to look up and up and up and up. Platforms are stationed around the vast trunk of the tree, stairs and canopies wind around it as well. Other large trees match, and curious furry heads poke out to look down at the new arrivals. Some of them call out for her companion, friendly greetings, ribbing greetings, more than one asks about her.

“ _Are you coming? The view is better from up top.”_ He waits for her at the base of the tree, and Rey tires quickly. The steps were not made for beings smaller than Wookiees. She can traverse them just fine, but it’s exhausting, and so different from climbing all over ships on Jakku. She wonders if the Wookiees would be offended if she opted to just climb the tree instead of the steps, she’d probably have an easier time. “ _Not much father,”_ Chewie informs her, turning around to look down at her. “ _Unless you want a lift?”_

“I can make it,” she insists through gritted teeth. And she does, stumbling onto a large arcing platform covered by a thatched roof. 

It reminds her of Ahch-To, in the peace the rustles through the trees, in the fresh air and the ocean in the distance. There are five Wookiees here, their conversation dying out as she appears behind Chewbacca. They’re polite as they introduce themselves to her, and Rey knows they’re holding back for her sake. She eases back, and hides a laugh behind her hand when they tackle Chewie, roaring their delight at seeing him home again, and being glad he’s safe. 

She lets them talk, sneaks far enough away from them that she can’t hear their low conversation and sinks down, swinging her legs out into the open air and leaning on the lowest railing of the wooden fence that runs the perimeter of the platform. He was right. The view is better from up here. Resting her chin on the back of her hands she watches waves crest far below her out at sea, she watches the shadows of the giant trees grow as the sun sets and little fires spring to life around this treetop village.

A weight settles over her shoulders and she tips her head back to find Chewie’s piercing blue eyes looking down at her. “ _It gets cold when the sun goes down,”_ he answers, gesturing at the soft blanket now wrapped around her. “ _Here. It’s better hot, so don’t take too long to eat. It’s considered rude not to eat when you’re our guest._ ” He presses a steaming bowl of something into her hands and looks pleased;Rey glares at him, not quite sure if she believes him, but she knows better than to argue.

“Thank you,” she says in a quiet voice, tugging the edges of the blanket tighter with one hand and cradling the bowl with the other. He leaves her be after watching her take a tentative sip of the broth. It’s earthy and fragrant and really quite good. Rey of Jakku would have devoured a bowl and have already asked for seconds, savoring every sip. It takes her until well after the sun has sunk beyond the horizon and the soup has gone cold and begins to almost congeal that she finishes it.

Chewie invites her into his home, shows her into a small room and tells her it’s hers for as long as she needs. Rey pulls Ben’s sweater up over her nose once the door closes behind him and she settles down in the large bed. She’s exhausted, and her muscles ache from climbing up here, so sleep finds her sooner than it normally does.

The days here are long and warm and there’s a fuzzy edge of almost happiness just out of reach for her. She tries to meditate and gives up, instead opting to be taught by the Wookiees. She learns to mend their roofs and how to make their soups and travels with them to gather food. It takes her weeks to realize that the chatter she usually tunes out has turned to an excited sort of buzz and the activity has a charged sort of purpose.

“What’s happening?” She asks one evening, emerging from her room wrapped in another blanket and dressed in old scraps of clothes while she waits for Ben’s sweater to dry.

“ _The solstice is next week,”_ Chewie says simply as if it should be obvious, and perhaps it should be if she paid attention.

“Oh.” Her head bobs with a nod and she watches him pick up his holopad. “Well, goodnight.”

“ _Goodnight, Rey. Reply to your friends soon, they’re worried.”_

“Soon,” she agrees, even though they both know she doesn’t really mean it. She still isn’t ready.

In the morning she helps set up a space for everyone to celebrate. Low benches surround a large pit for a bonfire and there are stations scattered about for cooking and refreshments. She finds out the solstice is in two days, and they stay up all evening telling stories and dancing, but the real excitement comes at dusk when the butterflies arrive.

When she asks no one tells her about them, other than that they’re butterflies. That she’ll see soon. That it’s better to experience it than hear about it. One of the younger Wookiees, named Mrarl, who towers over Rey by at least a foot and a half ruffles her hair with a laugh when she presses him for more information.

The day starts early, but Rey is already awake when Chewie knocks on her door telling her it’s the solstice and asks her to join him for breakfast. She does, easing out into the main room of his house where he has everything set up on his tall table. Rey has to sit on several cushions, a sight that amuses him to no end every day she scrambles up to sit across the table from him.

“ _The solstice reminds me of Ben,”_ he says without preamble as she reaches for her plate.

“Really?” she asks, brow furrowing as she tries to fathom why that might be.

“ _They came here one year when Ben was no more than two, but that isn’t why.”_ Rey watches him shift in his chair, pushing some food closer to her. “ _Once, Ben snuck on board when Han and I were on a job, went a little bit south, Ben ended up rescuing us with the help of butterflies.”_

Rey blinks at him. It sounds so absurd and untrue, but Chewie never really lies outright, stretches the truth sometimes, sure, but this. “What?”

“ _I know, it sounds ridiculous, but it happened. They’re attuned with the Force, but also sort of molt a substance that can be used for unsavory purposes by some people. If you process it right though it works great as a healing salve.”_

Rey glances over her shoulder, and the jars lining the shelves, notes the lightly glowing blue one. Just yesterday she had watched one of the local healers apply that to a small wound a cub had gotten while getting underfoot of the setup.

“Huh,” she eventually says.

“ _You’ll see,”_ Chewie responds, sounding just a little smug now and Rey rolls her eyes.

She helps him clean up and then settles on the couch next to him. She could sleep again but can see from Chewie’s almost jittery motions that he has something to say. So she waits. From outside the sounds of the village continuing to prepare for the festivities drift up to them into their little home, and the scent of already cooking food joins the sounds not long after.

“ _You aren’t alone, Rey.”_ It’s so sudden and almost loud in the quiet room that it makes her jump. “ _Sorry,”_ Chewie rumbles, sounding a little amused that he had startled her. “ _I mean it though. You’re welcome to stay here as long as you need.”_

“Han tried to get me to join his crew when we first met. Tried to say it was because you liked me.” Chewie laughs quietly. “I liked you too.” She smiles just a little and bumps into his arm with her shoulder. “I feel safe here. Thank you.”

“ _You’re family,_ ” he tells her like its obvious and she turns to bury her face into his coat to hide her tears.

They sit together and Rey dozes off at one point, only to be awakened by the sound of pounding drums from outside.

“ _It’s time,”_ Chewie tells her and she stands, stretching her arms up over her head while waiting for him. “ _If they choose you, follow them.”_

“What’s that even mean?” she asks, frowning when he just smiles and makes for the door. “Chewie,” she tries again.

“ _The butterflies. They choose someone every year.”_

“For what?” she asks, already slightly out of breath as they descend the too large stairs.

“ _For a sacrifice, obviously.”_ He purrs a laugh at the look on her face. “ _Just have fun. It’s a happy night.”_

* * *

They’re beautiful, and she doesn’t realize she’s said it out loud until Chewie agrees and quietly says ‘ _just wait_ ’ as he settles another blanket around her shoulders as the air turns cool. The sun is setting now and the blue glow of their wings is mesmerizing. It’s just one at first and then several and then they’re all practically overwhelmed by them. One lands on the tip of Rey’s nose and she laughs at the way it’s tiny feet tickle her. Then it flutters to her finger when she holds out her hand.

“Hello,” she whispers, bringing it closer to her face so she can better look at it. It sits for a moment, wings softly opening and closing while its antennae twitch, then it lifts free from her and she watches it flutter into the sky before coming back and landing on her shoulder.

 _“Go,”_ Chewie says suddenly from his place next to her. “ _Follow it,”_ he reminds her.

Rey is still skeptical and it must show on her face because both Chewie and Mrarl laugh while making a shooing gesture at her. “Okay little guy, let’s see where you’re taking me.” 

As if it understands it lifts off from her shoulder and collides with the small group of them to the left of the fire and together they bob and weave through the crowd of Wookiees and into the forest in the direction of the ocean. Behind her, there is a collective roar of celebration and the drums begin to sound again.

She stumbles through the dark of the forest, guided only by their brilliant luminescence and then suddenly she’s in a clearing. They move almost as one, and Rey watches mesmerized as they rise and fall and almost dance about the clearing, raining blue particles as they go. Hands curled up within the long sleeves of the sweater she wishes Ben were here to see this. They flutter past her, one darting free to perch upon her shoulder once more, and she feels something brush against her mind. 

“Don’t,” she whispers, reaching up a hand to serve as a perch, she watches with a faint smile as the lone butterfly moves from her shoulder to finger. “Don’t be nosy,” she chides, letting out a quiet noise of surprise when it touches her nose with its antennae. She feels the touch again, more insistent this time and she sighs. Then it seems to be done and lifts off from her to join its brethren who have coalesced in a dense column in the center of the clearing. The pile of blue dust grows beneath their wings and Rey worries that she has nothing to collect it with, because surely that’s what this celebration is also about, harvesting supplies for healing to last them to the next solstice. Her thoughts are immediately torn away from her as she notices their light beginning to fade. She gasps as they begin to fall one by one to the ground, wings dark and unmoving. 

“No,” she whispers, moving forward, reaching out for them, before immediately pulling back in shock as they continue to fade, looking like they’re peeling away layers to reveal the truth hidden behind them. Her mouth moves but no sound escapes as the last pair of wings grows dark and it’s body flutters to the ground where it lands next to a long pale foot.

At the center of the clearing stands Ben, naked and looking around in confusion. Rey watches, frozen, as he frowns, looks down at the small corpses laying around his feet and then looks up, meeting her gaze. “Rey,” he says her name with a quiet reverence and she sniffles before burying her face in her hands, collapsing onto her knees as she sobs.

Rey feels his arms come around her and the way his chest moves with every breath, but she can’t stop crying. She curls into the sudden warmth of him while he keeps whispering her name. “Ben,” she eventually manages, dragging herself from his body to stare up at him. He frowns, cupping at her cheek and wiping away her tears. “Ben.”

“Rey.” Her breath shudders from her chest and she feels new tears run down over her cheeks. “Shhh, I’m here now, I’m sorry, so sorry it took me so long to come back for you, sweetheart.”

She collides with him, already perched precariously as he knelt next to her it doesn’t take much for him to topple over onto the ground. “Are we on Kashyyyk?” he asks with a laugh, staring up at the canopy above them.

“It’s the solstice,” she answers from where she’s sitting on his chest, hands memorizing the planes of him. “I’m not entirely unconvinced this is some cruel dream I’m having from the drink Chewie gave me. _Ow!_ ” she jolts when he pinches her inner thigh.

“I’m here.”

She slides off of him, draping the blanket she had been wearing around her shoulders over his body. “Where were you?” she asks, slotting her fingers between his.

“I don’t know,” he answers after a long moment of quiet. “Trying to get back to you.” He rolls onto his side to face her and Rey holds his hand tighter, not willing to part from him. “What happened?”

Rey refuses to look at him, cannot bear to look at him while she explains that he was just gone. That she was alone. She does finally turn to look at him while she explains what happened to the First Order, that peace is messy and tentative, but the galaxy moves on. He lets her ramble, getting all the way up to meeting Mrarl and how he thinks he’s funny even though his jokes are anything but, and she’s in the middle of telling Ben some dumb story he probably doesn’t care about when his hand not holding her cups her cheek, making her fall silent. His thumb crests the apple of her cheek, passes gently over the circles beneath her eye, swiping away a stray tear as he goes before drifting down to rub gently over her lips. 

“It’s going to be okay, Rey,” he assures her, and she feels her lips quiver even as she nods. Ben smiles. “We should get back.” Rey knows they should, can hear the drums sounding again in the distance. “But before we do...I didn’t get a chance to tell you before. I love you.”

Fresh tears fall from her eyes, happy ones this time as she nuzzles into his hand. “I love you too,” she tells him, turning to kiss his palm. “I missed you. So much.”

“I’m not going anywhere, not anymore,” he promises and then sits up, awkwardly wrapping the blanket around him and eyeing her as she sits up as well. “Is that my shirt?”

Rey sniffs and shrugs, making it slip down over her left shoulder. “I missed you,” she answers simply, then stands, turning to haul him up and feeling giddy as she watches him wrap the blanket around his waist. 

When they return to the celebration they’re greeted by a roar of greeting, and a wall of fur as Chewie makes it to them in two long strides and scoops them both up into his arm. Rey lingers close as he lets them find their feet again and then takes Ben’s face in his giant paws.

 _“Ben,”_ he coos the name, hands running over Ben’s hair and cheeks and shoulders before Chewie bends and presses his forehead to Ben’s. His voice drops low and Rey isn’t sure she’s meant to hear it when he says: “ _They’d be proud, Ben.”_

Ben pulls back, mouth twisted with a frown, “I doubt it,” he answers, and receives another bump to the forehead. It takes a moment for him to relax, and Rey watches his eyes close, tears gathered on his eyelashes. “Okay, okay,” he agrees, leaning against Chewie who hugs him tight.

The Wookiees clamor all over Ben after that, feeding him and plying him with drink and someone finds a shirt that barely fits him. Rey sits near and watches with a smile.

“ _A strange wish,”_ Mrarl’s voice draws her attention and she turns to look at him.

“What?”

The Wookiee’s nose crinkles in amusement. “ _He didn’t tell you, did he?”_ A chortling laugh follows. “ _If you’re chosen, legend has it the butterflies grant you one wish. Our people usually use it to ask for bountiful harvests or good health. Never seen anyone wish for someone.”_

Rey hums and carefully, gently opens herself to the Force. She still doesn’t understand how it works, or what happened on Exegol, and she isn’t going to try and explain to Mrarl. “I just wished he could see it,” she tells him. 

The sun is beginning to come up by the time the fires burn low enough to be snuffed out and the celebration comes to an end. Rey yawns as she stumbles up the stairs with Ben and Chewie and then the three of them linger quietly just inside the entrance.

“ _You both need to sleep_ ,” Chewie says after a beat of silence. “ _We can talk more when we wake up.”_

Rey nods, covering another yawn, “sounds good.” She grunts when his heavy palm lands on the top of her head, ruffling her hair, then he gives Ben the same treatment.

“ _I have excellent hearing,”_ he says as he slips into his room and Rey stares after him, mouth open in shock.

Ben clears his throat and Rey’s mouth snaps shut and she hopes she isn’t blushing too hard. “This way,” she says, avoiding his gaze and leading him into her own room. 

“How long have you been here?” Ben asks, looking around the room and the small collection of things scattered around.

“A while,” she says with a shrug, slipping out of her boots and climbing onto the bed before turning and reaching for him. “Come here,” she says, smiling when he doesn’t hesitate. Rey pulls Ben down to a kiss, then pulls the sweater she’s been living in up over her head.

“Rey,” Ben chokes out her name as her palms slip beneath the scavenged shirt he’s been wearing all night now.

“I’m not - not that, not yet. I just – I need to feel you.” She doesn’t tell him about the dreams turned nightmares she’s had about him, doesn’t have to, she’s sure. Ben nods, and lets her take his shirt off then she slips beneath the blankets. Ben throws the one wrapped around his waist on top of the pile and then joins her.

He’s solid and strong and real and warm and Rey wedges her foot between his calves and her knee between his thighs while her hands curl between them, resting against his chest. “I love you,” she says, tipping her head back to look at him while he adjusts her in his arms.

“I know,” he answers and she snorts, but he cuts her off with a kiss. “I love you too, now sleep, I’ll be here in the morning, or evening, whenever we wake up again.”

And he is; still just as real and solid. He’s there when she wakes up again, and every morning after. He holds her when she wakes up calling for him, soothes away her fears and tears and sometimes sings to her as she falls back asleep. He’s there when he finally returns the comms to her friends, and he’s there when she decides it’s time to pick up her saber again. They’re both broken and messy, but they’re healing, and most days are better than the ones that came before it. 

When the next solstice comes around, Rey spends the evening pressed to Ben’s side, and when a butterfly flits over towards them, she reaches for it eagerly. “Thank you,” she whispers the words, smiles at the way the antennae twitch in what looks like excitement before it lifts off from her, fluttering around the crowd of gathered Wookiees. She feels Ben press a kiss to the top of her head, and across the fire she catches Chewie watching the two of them with a smile.

“When you said we would be up all night tonight, this isn’t what I meant,” Ben says against her hair making her laugh.

“It’s not my fault you forgot.” She turns and presses a kiss to his chin, then his mouth when he tilts his face towards her. “I’ll make it up to you later,” she promises, “once we’re off planet again though, we don’t need a repeat of that one night,” she says, making Ben blush to the tips of his ears.

She curls her arm around his and twines their fingers together as she leans against him once more. The sun sets fully and the butterflies not in the forest fly around them all as the festivities continue through the night.


End file.
